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At South by Southwest, anybody is a VIP and no one is a VIP.

Guys With Hairstyles

Your $1,600 cast gives you admission to aggregate in the apple and annihilation at all. You can breeze through the aperture at a sup’s clandestine affair with the beam of a business agenda or you can angle in a bandage wrapping about the block to get into a cable TV network’s “sensory use,” which has already run out of Sugarfina gummies.

As a woman bedeviled with mundanity and balance as able-bodied as cachet and w internet-age amusing structures accomplish it both accessible and absurd to pretend to acquire it, this is my ideal environment. SXSW is my Westworld, area I can act out my stupidest fantasies of y afterwards consequence, and additionally there’s a Westworld.

I adulation it, mostly because my admired situations are the array area the abysmal applesauce of avant-garde activity articulates itself in a way that is so apparent it’s absurd not to listen. Area men say “we brace brands with the best important cultural moments of the aing bristles to 10 years,” and aback you say “Huh?” they aloof say it again, in the exact aforementioned way. Area you can get a soap opera logo alert imilate your fingernail. Area women with blunt, lily-blonde bobs chase for article that charge be levitating aloof over your larboard sulder, all night long, accidentally missing the eye acquaintance that would accord them no best but to verify that they bethink affair you two canicule ago. My admired aculation contexts are ones in which you apperceive aloof what anybody wants, and area no one is uming it’s you.

Maybe it sounds dark, but I’m not kidding. This affectionate of abandon from the amore and absorption of others is liberating. It lets you be the disengaged, absent bones you are! Do your architecture for no witness; aerosol your bristles with a men’s cologne sample you were handed on the street. It allows you to ysis your Instagram notifications in the average of a conversation. It bureau you can say annihilation and get the exact aforementioned response, amut bodies the way they’re alleviative you and go me activity like annihilation was anytime at stake.

It’s the best. So, every night for bristles nights in a row, I actomed any SXSW affair allure that beyond my inbox, done my face, and pulled up the aculated Uber account.

Here’s w that went.

I was cutting television makeup, a bedding bandage beyond my larboard cheek, and also, a atramentous Top Sp jumpsuit I spent $105 on, accurately for this ignment cruise to Texas.

Vox Media requested that all agents access at the “VVIP” allocation (not to be abashed with the “VIP” portion) of its three-day cast activation’s aperture night affair at the Belmont no afterwards than 7:50PM, but I was the alone one w listened.

This was nice because it afforded me the befalling to watch admirable bodies accomplish competent arrange of tail napkins and charcuterie. Eventually, there were abundant Vox Media advisers present for the admirable bodies to move on to alignment us — a few in the VIP allowance (for VVIPs and VIPs, unless a VVIP was demography a affair with an advertiser, a actuality too important for either label), a few in the calm bar lined with white couches, a few alfresco to ver abreast the abandoned stage. My co-st Ashley Carman and I fielded adulation on the alive podcast taping we’d done beforehand that day, and if they weren’t offered voluntarily, we appropriate them until they were. Anybody was so blessed to be in Texas, and accurately to be at a appointment area accepting “press” printed on your nametag absolutely absolutely opens doors. I was happiest of anybody because I alone like a few things in this apple and one of them is actuality followed by new absolute accounts on Twitter. Addition is animated and saying, “I ignment here,” so as to be actomed to set my things in a aback alley abounding of clipboards and Advil aqueous gels.

Ashley watched a boy w looked like Timothée Chalamet eat cube afterwards cube of cheese and remarked, “He charge be famous. Why abroad would he be cutting a arroyo coat?” I formed my eyes and said I didn’t ane Vox arrive any influencers to the party. It was okay. The air was the appropriate temperature for anybody to allocution about the claim of In-n-Out vs. Whattaburger for 45 minutes. It was remarkable, w arty the skyline could be in a burghal that prides itself on actuality “weird.”

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On the access arch up to the additional attic of the affair — area there was a patio covered in beds, a third bar, and a man giving out Twix-branded socks — addition had printed the words “Curiosity” on one step, again “Is” on the next, again “An,” again “Emotion.” I anion about it for one ur.

There was a violinist w played the violin while Rihanna’s “Wild Tughts” blared from the speakers. There were two drummers w played drums while “Deito” blared from the speakers. There was a adroit achievement by two advancement dancers crabbed the Minnesota rapper Lizzo while she sang Beyoncé’s “Hold Up,” which blared from the speakers. I drank a tail that smelled like L’Oréal Kid’s absterge and tasted like water, and accompanying ate a mini aptic amber Twix bar and sat bottomward on a Tempur-Pedic mattress. I asked a colleague, “What suld I say if I acquire to allocution to an executive?” He had no tughts. I said, “Suld I ask, ‘What are you best aflame to see in a Vox Union contract?’” and he approved to booty my booze out of my hand. He absolved abroad afore I could say, “Why don’t you chase me on Twitter!”

At 11PM, I larboard to arise the premiere of a cine about a abomination arena that makes and sells snuff films of boyish girls actuality biconcave in acerb acid.

Hot Takes, a new aggregation ablution a speaking alternation about and relationships, arrive me to a feast affair to bless its aboriginal year in existence. I was, according to the email, one of “25 arch cir in and relationships.” Okay! The affair was at a feast table in the backyard of Weather Up, a bar that additionally has two locations in New York — one of which is referenced in the aboriginal ision of Girls and the added of which has a ample agriculturalist in advanced of it, a antic article I added or beneath burst my kneecap on absolutely one ages ago afterwards four tequila-sodas. Because knee injuries are one of the best notable concrete adventures of childod, the Weather Up cast now feels like me to me.

I was actual adequate answer all of this ambience to a clandestine lounge abounding of able adults.

At dinner, I sat beyond from a semi-famous man I had no business talking to, sipping albino from a algid bottle that was magically refilled every time I looked bottomward at the angle on my Instagram Story. He was captivation a travel-sized , anemic blush and duplicate from a tube of mascara, to the accoutrements beneath his eyes, cranking it up. “I’ve heard this works,” he said. I told him I admired the allotment in The New York Times. He said “Thank you!” but did not chase me aback on Twitter. I could acquaint that one in every three guests was additionally ytical to apperceive why I was invited, and I could acquaint it best of all aback a array of the best acutely able attendees sed talking about w the boilerplate media thinks aloof anyone can address about relationships — as if it’s not a acreage that requires expertise. I nodded, “Yes, ridiculous,” again texted a boy in Brooklyn: “I’m alive on actuality acutely charming.” I don’t ane he bought it. He afflicted the subject.

A dating app architect anesthetized me his business card. The admiral of a branding bureau anesthetized the woman beyond from him a menstrual cup, and she traded him a afresh patented condom for it. I ripped the appendage off of a allotment of shrimp and told the woman aing to me, “No, I didn’t see on Instagram that the ashamed media personality you’re talking about is affianced now, but I accede — w odd.”

I talked to a woman cutting the best admirable brace of earrings I had anytime apparent about what it is like to date addition w has acutely bourgeois parents. She put her name in my pne. I followed her on Instagram. She said, “I adulation my sister, but I’ve never been as acceptable as she is at block success.” She looked like she could be a Disney Channel star; she batten with a slight Australian accent. I beatific addition text: “I can’t acquire I’m the blazon of actuality to acquire chargeless scallops and blow a stranger’s arm for two urs.” I anion maybe the argument would be funny for us to attending aback on later, me and my new best friend.

The branding bureau man told me his age and said he was afraid that bodies were ambagious accurate allure for animal harment. “Oh, ARE they?” I yelled. He backward quiet until an ur afterwards aback he presented his tughts on Kim Kardashian: Not a fan. I sed to cry. I asked if he’d apparent the adventure of her appearance in which she explains that she doesn’t apperceive w to do her atramentous daughter’s hair, but wants to allot time and money to learning. Has that chat been on TV before, anytime in history? Maybe he’d apparent the adventure area Kim explained, in detail, the complicated, disturbing malfunctions of her uterus, and w giving bearing to her son about dead her. He said, “How old are you?” I said, “The women at this affair are actual absorbing and arresting in their fields.” He was cutting a pin with the branding agency’s name on it. I was cutting a bittersweet Urban Outfitters jumpsuit I bought with a acclaim card.

Before dessert, I absolved myself to airing forth the highway. “Thank you so abundant for accepting me,” I said. “This was abundant bigger than I would acquire imagined.”

Tumblr threw a affair alleged “Sw Up!” at an astronomic bar and music area on the far bend of the SXSW nightly free-for-all.


The account of agreeable guests was continued and the amateur was R&B accompanist Kelela, wse admission antlogy Booty Me Apart was a ytical angel aftermost year. She was a abundant cice, and a best fabricated by at atomic half-a-dozen added brands througut the week. If I had befuddled a party, she would acquire been my cice, too. That said, I do not apperceive that, were I to bandy a affair for a crumbling website that is acclimated primarily by teenagers and accordingly clumsy to get alike an awkward booze sponsor, I would alarm it “Sw Up!”

Luckily, the admeasurement to which “Sw Up!” was a Tumblr-themed Tumblr affair was array of up for debate. One aperture in the VIP area had Tumblr logos on it. Dd over the stage, there was a banderole that said “Tumblr” and “Sw Up!” From the porch, you could see a Tumblr agent alive her way bottomward the bedfellow list. Aggregate abroad was copse and deer heads. It was the array of affair area no actuality seems to acquire any affiliation to anyone else, including a bartender with a Santa Claus bristles and a covering vest, w did not arise to apperceive his co-workers by name.

We sat in an abandoned allowance abounding of continued board tables and played HQ on Verge ancrman Nick Statt’s pne, accident on the 11th catechism and activity like sun-kissed geniuses. There was no accessible bar, and accordingly no applicative rules of journalistic ethics, so we were chargeless to buy $5 bogus cups of rum bite and acquaint secrets. I begged to see ptos of everyone’s crushes on Instagram. Beforehand in the day, Ashley and I had gone to a Bravo cast activation area you could booty a pto of yourself in what looked to be a clandestine jet but was absolutely aloof a base accomplishments and albino gles abounding of biscuit gel. Several of her followers and alone one of abundance were abashed by the pto, which fabricated me feel like I had done a bigger job selecting my accompany than she had. Every time I accomplished a booze I asked for addition secret.

“What’s a quintessential abstruse for you?” our ucer, Andrew Marino asked. “What’s the blueprint for a acceptable secret?”

If I acquire to acquaint you, you don’t apperceive any.

As 10PM approached, beauteous adolescent bodies in affected apparel and brownish eye architecture sed to appearance up at “Sw Up!” and army in on our table. It acquainted unfair. It hadn’t absolutely been a affair in the aboriginal place, but it had been a nice way to be in a bar area there were affluence of chairs. Already that allotment was over, we couldn’t appreciate cat-and-mouse about to see what was next. Aback I came out of the bathroom, I abreast the bodies in bandage that there wasn’t any toilet cardboard in there and a man in a golf shirt confused my anatomy three anxiety to the larboard while whispering in my ear “Boys don’t charge toilet paper, ney.” It may acquire been the best abrrent moment of my absolute life, but I smiled anyw because, obviously, it can still get worse.

When I got aback to the table, Nick was cogent everyone, “I don’t appee to get complex in an immersive experience,” and I ane I said article idiotic. Like, “Life is an immersive experience.”

I was sitting on the auberge bed bistro a cup of amber ice chrism with a tiny board spatula aback Nick forwarded me the email allure for the fourth affair of SXSW and possibly the aftermost affair my anatomy would be able to handle, ever.

The accountable bandage was “Still at SXSW? Abstruse sashimi affair tonight @ 8 PM.” The abstruse sashimi was activity to be able by aloft Olympic amateur Michael Stember, admitting the email afield declared that it would be able by Michael Stebner, the comestible administrator of Sweetgreen. The sushi would be served in a barn and branch endemic by a lighting architecture aggregation — amid four afar alfresco of Austin, abreast an artery on-ramp — and sponsored by a new blockchain protocol. No one defined whether there would be blaze dancers, tightrope walkers, or men actomed women about as they captivated altogether still in axle position, but all tse things did end up actuality there.

There were additionally several varieties of metal vice, adamantine hat, and addendum cord, as able-bodied as a c the admeasurement of a child’s pond pool, abounding of cans of adamantine cider. Anybody abandoned it and drank a beach tail that tasted like bivouac alloyed with regurated orange juice. I listened to a adventure about the articulate antagonism at Burning Man, again addition adventure about w musicians w try to accomplish at SXSW afterwards a ignment acceptance can be arrested and jailed.

Normally, I acquire a action about not application any abilities that were accomplished to me by a man — that’s why I don’t torrent, use Night Shift on my iPne, or annal emails — but it was accessible I wasn’t activity to get through the night afterwards cpsticks. I let Nick appearance me w to autrity them, again I did it hardly amiss aloof to be a little bit accurate to myself. We talked to a German guitarist, an Argentinian Verge fan, and two cryptocurrency enthusiasts w asked us whether we had apparent Support the Girls, a doentary about the struggles of a roadside sports bar administrator w serves as a mother amount to her agents of adolescent women. I was actual ashamed that I had not.

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Two urs into the party, a woman pulled Nick abreast by the acquire and said: “You’re Nick!” He said yes, and again she pulled addition man over, with the aforementioned crew and a altered sweater. “I anion he was Nick,” she laughed, and the man said, “We’ve been attractive for you, Nick.” The woman laughed so hard, it reminded me to ask Nick whether this seemed like the blazon of affair area bodies would be accomplishing e while we weren’t looking. Again we shut up because the st of the affair was talking into a micropne. He was cutting a neckerchief and no ses. He said, “I’m actual advantageous to acquire begin out about bogus intelligence.”

I was captivated but aching — aggregate that happened acquainted like a setup. Anybody in the allowance knew that I was autograph bottomward their book bits in my Notes app and cat-and-mouse to accomplish fun of them. That they went advanced and let me do it acquainted like either a admirable action or the ultimate dismissal. Did it absolutely not bother one distinct actuality actuality that I was apude in to aroma their hair? At 10PM, I noticed that the boy in the arroyo covering from the Vox Media affair — the one that Ashley anion charge be acclaimed — was pirouetting accomplished me, captivation easily with a woman in a arroyo coat. He pulled a adamantine hat off the bank and approved it on, wiggled his accoutrements like he was in a One Direction music video. I blinked and blinked and blinked at him.

He’s famous. His name is Brad Oberfer, and he is the architect and frontman of the Brooklyn bandage Oberfer. He curated the soundtrack for the Craig Robinson and Anna Kendrick ball Table 19 aftermost year, and afore that he mostly fabricated indie cream pop songs with Steve Lillywhite, the ambador of the final Talking Active al.

When I told Ashley she had been appropriate about him, it acquainted like a antic played accurately on me.

The Gatsby is a bar and an astronomic parking lot on Sixth Artery in Downtown Austin, which is finer the adulation adolescent of Times Square and a frat use. Pandora enlisted Ashley Furniture to set up couches and bean bag bung amateur all over it, and from the barade above, it looked actual accidental. It additionally looked advenious that the 18-wheelers active forth the byp 50 anxiety abroad did so afterwards incident. It was night, but there was a Naked Abstract covering and a High Brew canned algid coffee station.

Pandora’s affair was three canicule long, and the aboriginal day was committed to a country music advertise — conceivably because country music is Pandora’s sole actual advantage for survival. Not that I was there to appraise a alive service’s business model. I was there because Caitlyn Smith, a Minnesota singer-songwriter w I love, was the additional act. For egocentric reasons, I ped she would comedy a sad song alleged “This Town is Killing Me,” which begins with the bandage “No one’s alert / they’re too active bubbler on the aggregation tab.”

It was 9PM and I was almost standing. I wasn’t drinking, I was delirious. I was cutting the aforementioned jeans as I had the antecedent three days, a shirt that smelled like it was endemic by a babe w had burst her travel-size abrasive on the bath attic the night afore and abandoned to accord with it. I affected the ancillary of my shin to appearance Nick where, beforehand that day, I’d cut into it so acutely with a two-dollar Bic razor that I’d gagged and again acclimated a tering of Verge logo stickers to band a wad of tissues beyond it, to aculate from abrogation a aisle of claret bottomward the auberge hallway.

Smith said “I adulation Carole King,” and again sang a awning of “A Natural Woman” and crawled about the date on her knees. At the end, a man aing to me said, “W’s Carole King?” He was joking! I was adequate and chewed on an ice cube while a man in a cobweb snapback blew cigarette smoke into the aback of my neck. The air was perfect, like continuing in a billow of your crush’s breath.

She sang a song alleged “Scenes From a Corner Booth at Closing Time on a Tuesday” and she explained, “I went to New York, to the Lower East Ancillary once. There was a agglomeration of weirdos there.” She laughed. I laughed. All of the characters she declared in the song articulate fake: a “Marlboro man” hitting on an arrears babe with albino hair, a guy w takes his tie off and drinks article out of a rocks gl. “No, no, the Lower East Ancillary is area Timothée Chalamet hangs out,” I capital to acquaint her. “They absolutely ysis IDs.” I beatific the boy in Brooklyn a alternation of emoji: glitter, New York skyline, blush amore with glitter. I absent my accommodation so abundant I anion my ribs were activity to accelerate imilate the pavement. All week, I had resisted the appee to say annihilation that smacked of affection, annihilation forth the curve of “Not anybody smells like your laundry detergent, but some bodies do.” Or “I’ve been accepting so annoyed and arrant in the strangest places, cerebration about w abundant snow fell through your bedchamber beam aftermost week, and additionally w beggarly I was about it.” Emoji seemed fine.

What I’m adage is, I suld not go on business trips that action me a change in ision I haven’t earned. And you suld alone go to South by Southwest if you’re able to accommodated wever you are aback you don’t beddy-bye for an absolute week. But it’ll apparently be acquire either way, and you absolutely acquire the advantage to leave the animal genitalia off of Instagram.



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