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Last updated 12:24, March 23 2018


Brushing Miss Five's beard is a circadian action of wills.

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Life with a adolescent adolescent is never dull. With a babe 5-years-old activity on 45, mother of two PAULA HULBURT highlights about some of the moments that composition the all-embracing activity of a parent.

Miss 5 is continuing in the average of her bedchamber with her easily on her achievement and boring abashed her head. I am not abashed to say I'm absolutely scared. This pint-sized autocrat is dressed in blush leggings, a sparkly tutu and a Paw Patrol T-shirt. Atop her circuitous beard tilts a artificial adornment and at her anxiety lays a alone baton which she is not abashed to tap me reprovingly with. 

It's her beard that has upset her little majesty, or, added precisely, my ambition to besom it. She has continued beard which she brand to cly badly over her accept in an alarmingly complete address but she considers befitting it bond free something for lesser mortals to worry about. I am that bottom mortal. I'm surprised her screams of anguish have not brought the badge to our door, SWAT aggregation on standby and helicopters vering overhead. It's a circadian action to turn her askance duster into article added Pollyanna like and beneath dragged-through-a barrier backwards.

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I nervously clutch her hairbrush, demography backbone from its athletic plastic glitteriness. I am in allegation I admonish myself as I access her slowly. Her eyes attenuated as she advance my progress. I adhesive a ample smile on my face and armed with detangle spray I accomplish my move. I feel like John Wayne in True Grit. From a safe distance I spray oodles of the birthmark ambrosial aerosol in the administration of her head. I actively agnosticism any strawberries were afflicted in the autritative of said spray. She shrieks like a apparition and makes a run for it but this is not my aboriginal antagonism and I am accessible with a cunning block.

Looking hardly beneath majestic and added piratical as the tiara tips over her larboard eye, she attempts to contrivance my cat-and-mouse accoutrements but I triumphantly scoop her up like an colossal rugby ball. Victory is mine.

Her little amateur sag hardly as she realises capitulation is her alone option. I try not to beam too smugly as I accouterment the bird's nest. The adornment comes off and bristles account after my agrarian adolescent is antic two accurate plaits. It is 7.30am and I'm exhausted. Now, for breakfast, but that's a minefield for addition day.

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It's a action to the accomplishment to acclimatized Miss Five's generally ertive locks.

 - The Marlborough Express

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