As addition w has committed my life’s ignment to allowance others accomplish claimed transformation, my actomed beard adventure was a admonition that transitions and transformations are not necessarily pre-planned or advised for that matter.
As I reflect on my decision, I can candidly say my actomed beard adventure accidentally happened afterwards my 40th birthday. I was a afar mother of four entering a new decade of life. I had aloof appear a self-help book on claimed transformation, had a new adulation in my life, and an centralized admiration to reinvent myself.
In the year afterward my big 4-0, I switched up my actomed safe bob with aggregate from a sew-in ponytail, sew-in weave, to braids.
Six months afterwards my 40th birthday, my again admirer proposed to me. At that time, I aloof happened to be cutting a abounding sew-in weave for the aboriginal time ever. I allege on authenticity, on actuality unapologetically you. And admitting cutting annihilation added than your actomed beard does not by any agency exclude you from these virtues, I can bethink attractive aback at the account that captured that moment and thinking, the hairstyle was cute, yet I would accept adopted to accept sported my own beard on such a memorable day.
Srtly thereafter, I ditched the sew-in and the safe bob hairstyle that was underneath. With aloof 6 months afore my bells I cut all my beard off and autonomous for a beautiful brownie style. Let’s aloof say my accomplishment to reinvent myself was accepting an character crisis aback it came to my hair.
When I absolved bottomward the alley at my destination bells in Cancun the afterward year, I actomed my abbreviate hair, about I acquainted trapped by the common beard salon visits. Actuality a active mom, business owner, and new wife, I added became added and added balked over the time I was spending in the salon. I was so over it. About this time, I was diagnosed with ambiguous hypertension and my accomplishment to exercise to get it beneath ascendancy was centered about my beard regimen. If I had clients, a speaking engagement, or television actualization appliance was out of the question. Like so abounding added atramentous women, I was sacrificing my concrete bloom for my hair.
Then my apple shifted.
Five months afterwards my bells day, my mother, the aforementioned woman w danced and acclaimed with us at our bells in Cancun accidentally died. I was devastated. My ancestor had died years beforehand from complications of a achievement and now I was burying my mother wse hypertension ultimately led to her ping.
In the months that followed, affliction took its essment on me. My spirit and aplomb was st. I absitively to get braids because nestly, I didn’t accept the brainy or concrete activity to put against my hair.
I wore braids for a year afterward my mother’s ping.
Just afterwards the aboriginal ceremony of her afterlife I took the braids out. A jar of relaxer sat on the adverse aloof inches abroad from me. This was, metaprically, my crossroad. Do I acknowledgment to the safe, accepted, beeline and narrow, or do I commence aloft the alley beneath traveled. The antecedent year had taken its essment on me. Now, complect chargeless and activity beneath aged by grief, I bethink attractive in the mirror and aen w amoebic and raw I was in added means than one. I was attractive at MY beard for the aboriginal time aback I sed accepting relaxers at age 7.
I was as alien with the beard on my arch as I was with the motherless woman absorption aback at me in the mirror. Little did I apprehend that I was about to become actual actomed with both and my beard adventure would become a allegory to the claimed adventure affliction propelled me on. I fabricated a accommodation to go actomed and autrize an affectionate accord with my acme and glory.
Dr. Rose Moten, is a ytic psyclogist, and the columnist of two books. www.drrosemoten.com
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Filed under: African Americans, Authenticity, Beauty, Atramentous Hair, Atramentous Women
Tags: atramentous women, Dr. Rose Moten, hairstyle, har, natural, transfomation, Tuesday Transformation
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