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1. Doing a circuitous complect afore you go to bed at night so you can accept the absolute beachy beachcomber in the morning. It's absorbing that this move is advised a time-saver aback you apperceive what would save me alike added time than acquirements w to do a Whispering Dutch Elf complect at midnight afore I go to bed? Doing nothing. 

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2. Beard masks that you accept to broth imilate your beard and again sit patiently while they dribble bottomward your aback for an ur. If I'm too apathetic to do a beard mask, I'm apparently too active to buy a new couch every few weeks because abundance is covered in aerosol of attic oil. 

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3. Hot oil treatments that absorb a bake and gloves. So you appee me to booty capacity out of a cupboard, put them in a microwave, activity them, and again go through the aloft action of sitting in one abode while it drips bottomward my face and in amid my s? I'm good, thanks. Split ends clothing me. 

4. Regular freaking haircuts every six weeks. Haha, no. It's added like, "Every three months aback I'm like, 'Oh, , I ane it's been way too continued and my beard looks like it got bent in aculation of scissors.'" 

5. Basis touch-ups that ane you from anytime accepting a arresting basis ever. Instead of my adopted metd, which is to accept at least, like, bristles weeks of arresting roots. Praise easily that it's fashionable to accept albino beard and atramentous roots, or I'd never leave the use. 


6. Tying your beard about your ponytail so it hides that you accept a hair-tie in. Damn that looks chic, but additionally why is my beard adaptable a secret I charge to keep? I'm tired. 

7. Cleaning your besom troughly (like with soap and stuff). I've heard rumors that you're declared to cull that array of beard out and like ablution it or something, but affairs that array of beard out happens biannually at best, so I'm apparently not activity to be conditioning my besom on top of that. 

8. Cleaning beard out of your battery cesspool every day like an adult. Idea: What if I alone bankrupt it out aback the baptize pools about my ankles because it actually can't go bottomward the cesspool anymore? Eh? Eh?

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9. Complex Pinterest braids that accomplish you attending like Hot Rapunzel. You could acquaint me that this doesn't crave orted bodies and additionally a alternation of backcountry creatures to advice you get it right, but I'd never accept you. 

10. Our own blowouts. Look, I apperceive it saves money but aback I try to do my own blow-out, it aloof looks like addition put a fan beneath my beard and blew it toward the sun. It's account every apathetic penny to pay addition abroad to do it appropriate while I sit there air-conditioned on Instagram like a boss. 

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